Happy Birthday?

Birthday Party. No two words in the English language can revoke a mother's sanity card faster than these two. For some, the planning for this 2-4 hour event has gotten way out of control. Across the globe it causes beads of perspiration to break out on parents' foreheads. Don't believe me? Keep reading.

Guests. The first decision is how many guests to invite. Sounds simple enough, right? Well in regards to this matter, there is some disagreement among the experts (yes, believe it or not, there are experts out there regarding children's birthday parties). Some say the number of guests should be equal to the child's age, while others state all children from the child's class should be invited. Also will parents be staying or dropping off? Are siblings invited too? Cousins, neighbors? You certainly can't invite everyone, but you definitely don't want to leave anyone out. (Oh boy, I feel my palms getting sweaty already.)

Venue. Should you have the party at your home or should it be held at another location. If you have it at home, you are taking your chances. There is always the errant child who makes it his or her main mission to be everywhere the actual party isn't. If the party is outside, he will want to be inside. If the party is inside, he will want to be outside. And nothing is off limits to this kid, drawers, closets, cabinets, etc. So plan on spending a good portion of the party keeping tabs on this little one because inevitably he belongs to the parent who likes to drop off. (Hmm...coincidence, I think not!)

Party Games. I think this is where the pressure really sets in. This is the time when you make the self-realization that either you are interested in "keeping up with the Joneses," or you're not. Gone are the days of "pin the tail on the donkey" and musical chairs. Parents feel obligated to hire magicians. traveling zoos, pony rides, bounce houses and balloon-twisting clowns just to make their kid's party as entertaining as his or her friends. (No one fears the word "boring" more than the birthday child!)

Menu. To feed or not to feed, that is the question. Depending on the time of day the party is held will directly affect this decision. A good tip is to generally try to time the party some time after lunch, but well before dinner so that cake and beverages are all the party guests will require. However, if you decide to venture away from this time slot remember that you will need to obtain the dietary restrictions from all your guests. (If you don't, you'll be setting yourself up for a potential food allergy emergency.)

Party Favors. This directly links back to Party Games and "keeping up with the Joneses" again. It used to be that the birthday child was the only one getting the gifts, but these days nothing can "blackball" a host faster than the absence of party favors. It is expected that guests will leave with some kind of reminder from the party. (What ever happened to leaving with the memory of a good time?)

Pinatas. I just had to throw this in here. What is up with pinatas? Why on earth would a company make a pinata out of a child's beloved cartoon character? Isn't it more than a little disturbing to have a group of young children beating the heck out of Elmo or Scooby-Doo? Whack, whack, whack! "Hit it," all the little voices scream with merriment! Then the children are rewarded for the best beating by the prize of all prizes...candy. (Is it just me, or did the little hairs on your arms just stand up too?)

RSVP. Répondez s'il vous plaît - French for "please respond". As I was growing up it was proper etiquette to reply to an RSVP request whether confirming attendance or declining. Nowadays there is some confusion over the RSVP. There are some people that think no reply is necessary unless they are attending. While still others think it's the opposite, respond only if not attending. So of course, ultimately the host needs to call all the guests that did not respond to get a final head count. (Miss Manners where are you when we need you?)

This year I kept my children's birthday parties as simple as possible, and tried not to sweat the small stuff. Yet I still breathed a sigh of relief after they were over, and like every year before, vowed that this was the last one. But truthfully, I know that I (along with droves of other parents), will painstakingly plan another and another, because the joy on our kids' faces is always worth a little insanity!