When I was grocery shopping the other day I ended up picking a line with a cashier who was obviously miserable in his job. He was a dodgy looking little man with glasses and flapping skin. As I started loading my groceries on the conveyor belt he gave me the "stink eye." Seriously, then he muttered under his breath that "I had more than a few items." Well, there was NO SIGN indicating that it was an express lane!
The nasty crudgmudgen didn't even bother to pack my bags... and on top of it all I was in such a rush to scramble out from under his hateful glare that I squashed my loaf of bread! My children ended up eating sandwiches made on bread slices resembling pieces of a jig-saw puzzle!
The next time I popped in, there he was behind his cash register, his eyes darting wildly about like an evil troll guarding his treasure. His lane was empty (no shocker there), but you better believe I would stand in a line 20 people deep before I got in his lane again!!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
A Mom Decoder Ring...
The other day my mom phoned to ask if I had watched a particular movie. Now you have to personally know my mom to understand that she has her own unique form of communication. There are always a lot of whatchamacallits, doodads, and thingamabobs thrown into the mix. You need a decoder of sorts to interpret what she says. Of course over the years I've become masterful at translating my mom's banter, but I must admit that sometimes even I get stumped. This is how our recent exchange went...
"It was a really good movie," she tells me.
"What's the name of it?" I asked.
"I'm not sure," she replies. "But is has that actress in it. You know... whodoyoucallit."
"Uhm... would you please be a little more specific."
"Blond. I think she was on a TV show."
"OK Mom, I still need something more to go on..."
"She was married to that one guy and then he went off with that other woman."
Eesh! That covered more than half the celebrity couples out there.
Hmm. I thought for a moment. Aha! "Jennifer Aniston," I guessed. "She was on Friends, married to Brad Pitt, who is now with Angelina Jolie."
Silence.
"Mom? Hello? Is the actress Jennifer Aniston?"
"Maybe," she offers. "It was a really cute movie, you should watch it."
*Sigh*
"Thanks Mom, I will."
"It was a really good movie," she tells me.
"What's the name of it?" I asked.
"I'm not sure," she replies. "But is has that actress in it. You know... whodoyoucallit."
"Uhm... would you please be a little more specific."
"Blond. I think she was on a TV show."
"OK Mom, I still need something more to go on..."
"She was married to that one guy and then he went off with that other woman."
Eesh! That covered more than half the celebrity couples out there.
Hmm. I thought for a moment. Aha! "Jennifer Aniston," I guessed. "She was on Friends, married to Brad Pitt, who is now with Angelina Jolie."
Silence.
"Mom? Hello? Is the actress Jennifer Aniston?"
"Maybe," she offers. "It was a really cute movie, you should watch it."
*Sigh*
"Thanks Mom, I will."
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Learning Italian - (Bucket List Part III)
Buongiorno mi amici...
Just an update on my quest to learn Italian... Sto imparando l'italiano da tre mesi. Ancora molto da imparare. Which hopefully I did not totally mangle, but it should translate to "I am studying Italian for three months. There is still much to learn." Seriously, it has been quite a long time since I had to review the rules of grammar, but in another language no less! Prepositions, present indicative, past participles, present progressive and possesives, well really it is enough to make my head swim!
I also do not always have time for as much studying as I would like. However, I have made a lot of progress and even surprise myself sometimes with how much I have picked up so far. I read better than I write and I still have some trouble with a verbal conversation, but I try not to be too hard on myself. After all, this is a self-taught program and not a traditional course.
I think one of my favorite parts about this whole experience has been the friendships I have made. I don't know if I am just fortunate or if all the people in Italy are as lovely as the ones I have been writing to. I would not be as far along in my studies if it was not for their help. There is one friend in particular that I really owe a deep debt of gratitude. His unwavering patience and help have been invaluable.
Maybe in a few more months I will be ready for a lengthy conversation in Italian. The program I am using let's me speak the language and grades me on my pronunciation. So far I have passed each test. I am excited and can't wait for the day that I can converse a little more fluently. My dream is to visit Italy at some point in my life and try out my new language skills.
Ciao, a presto!
Just an update on my quest to learn Italian... Sto imparando l'italiano da tre mesi. Ancora molto da imparare. Which hopefully I did not totally mangle, but it should translate to "I am studying Italian for three months. There is still much to learn." Seriously, it has been quite a long time since I had to review the rules of grammar, but in another language no less! Prepositions, present indicative, past participles, present progressive and possesives, well really it is enough to make my head swim!
I also do not always have time for as much studying as I would like. However, I have made a lot of progress and even surprise myself sometimes with how much I have picked up so far. I read better than I write and I still have some trouble with a verbal conversation, but I try not to be too hard on myself. After all, this is a self-taught program and not a traditional course.
I think one of my favorite parts about this whole experience has been the friendships I have made. I don't know if I am just fortunate or if all the people in Italy are as lovely as the ones I have been writing to. I would not be as far along in my studies if it was not for their help. There is one friend in particular that I really owe a deep debt of gratitude. His unwavering patience and help have been invaluable.
Maybe in a few more months I will be ready for a lengthy conversation in Italian. The program I am using let's me speak the language and grades me on my pronunciation. So far I have passed each test. I am excited and can't wait for the day that I can converse a little more fluently. My dream is to visit Italy at some point in my life and try out my new language skills.
Ciao, a presto!
Ladies: Single for the Holidays?
As the holiday season approaches I sometimes hear women lamenting about the fact that for one reason or another they don’t have a man in their life. Well fear not single ladies, you are not alone. There are many women who will be pulling off the holidays solo. Take advantage of this time and make the most of it! Remember, you are fabulous!
If you need a little help, I compiled a list of reasons to be thankful for not having a man in your life...
TOP 10 REASONS TO BE THANKFUL (for not having a man in your life)!
10. The passing of gas (in any form) will not be turned into a time-honored tradition.
9. You don't have to shop for a beer holster. (Yes, Virginia they really do exist.)
8. You can skip shaving for a day (or two or three…).
7. You can save money by not paying for 5 ESPN channels. (5? Seriously?)
6. Dirty clothes will be in the hamper, not on the floor.
5. The toilet lid is always down.
4. No fighting over whose parent’s house to visit for the holidays.
3. The leftover piece of cake you’ve been saving will still be there when you want it.
And the #1 reason to be thankful...
1. The shower remains a shower and NOT a giant urinal.
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