A Good Haircut

A good haircut is extinct, and in my opinion has been for quite some time. You either leave with a mangled mess or you come out looking like you still need to have your hair cut! Maybe I should start examining those licenses a little more closely. You know those little slips of paper, neatly framed, tucked amongst the family photos on the stylist's station. Who among us actually reads those things? For all we know it could be written in crayon and the person cutting our hair is not even licensed. The bottom line is that there seems to be an ever prevalent communication breakdown between client and stylist. For example, last week when I went to get a hair cut, I requested that my sides be angled to which the stylist replied, "Blended?" "No, angled, " I repeated. "But blended?" she persisted. "Um, okay," I finally relented, thinking she is the professional after all. It said so right there in tangerine orange.

But this "battle of the hair" is nothing new to me. I remember getting my hair cut many years ago at a fancy salon that had just opened at the mall. Everything seemed all well and good when I arrived. I was lulled into complacency by the photos of beautiful people with perfect hair adorning the walls of the salon. However, a sense of dread did finally creep over me as I realized that as the stylist cut my hair, she kept me turned away from the mirror. I ended up with one-inch sideburns and a wall of hair (on just one side of my head), that was teased and sprayed to such heights that I have no doubt it defied the very laws of gravity. I looked like a member of the 80's band, Flock of Seagulls.

Mortified at the very thought of having to walk through the mall in order to exit to my car, I began scheming of ways to leave unnoticed. One thought was to hide in the public restroom until closing and escape through the air ducts. But, I knew with my luck (and poor sense of direction), I would get lost, my giant hair would catch on some outcrop of metal and there I would lie, trapped in an overhead maze. Thus, leaving only two possible outcomes. The first, would be my rescue resulting in a photo of me with the "hairstyle from hell" smack dab on the front page of the newspaper. Accompanying the photo would be the account from the police of how they initially thought a giant rat was attacking my head, or that I must have been stuck in there for so long that some sort of animal had built a nest in my hair. The second possibility would be that the police thought I was trying to burglarize the mall and arrest me, which would lead to having my mug shot taken, forever preserving that ridiculous looking hair on my permanent record. No way would I submit to that public humiliation! Walking through a crowd of strangers at the mall was looking better all the time.

The scent of mega-hold hairspray and waffle fries finally snapped me out of my stress-induced stupor. I decided that sometimes a situation is only as bad as you imagine it to be. After all, I could always wash it out when I got home. And on that note, many years ago, I left the salon with my held held high...very high (and slightly off-kilter).

Independence Day

While waiting to pick the kids up from soccer practice, a discussion was started the other day about traveling. Now during this discussion, there was a consensus among this particular group of women, that it must be great being a man, or more specifically a husband. To be confident in the fact that everything involved in the daily mechanics of life is taken care of for you. For instance, for most husbands, preparing for a trip means only picking out a few clothes and some essentials...done!

A woman (wife and mother), on the other hand needs to pack for herself and the children. Pack not only the essentials, but everything else in between that will help make the trip run smoothly: snacks, toys, books, iPods, DVDs, etc. Prior to the actual trip itself, the woman also handles the following: reserves the accommodations, stops the mail and newspaper delivery, does the laundry, charges the music/gaming devices, arranges for trash can removal, checks the fridge (for sneaky leftovers sure to become a gruesome science experiment within the week), pays the bills that will be due while away, arranges for pet care (note, this includes a vet appointment if the vaccinations are not up to date), cleans the house, notifies the alarm company, confirms reservations, gathers tickets/directions/maps, and reviews the packing list to ensure that all items are packed and accounted for. The latter which is of utmost importance because nothing can throw a wrench into the plan faster than "Sleepy Bear" being left behind.

Now what really makes this extraordinary is that most men complain, yes, actually complain about losing their independence once they are married! Really? Well in preparing for a trip, how I would love to just pick out a few clothes and some essentials...done! If this is considered losing one's independence then where do I sign up?

Summer Vacation

It's June, and the days of summer are upon us. Summer usually means vacation, but in this economy people are forced to cut back and stay home. Still there are the lucky few that have managed to skate around the economic crisis, or like me are just in financial denial. Yes, if truth be told, I would be first in line for a "smackdown" from Suze Orman. Vacation...Denied!

Rationally, I know I shouldn't even be considering a vacation, and I should be stashing away every last penny, but why does the little voice in my head keep whispering..."Remember, you can't take it with you?" It's like having an angel on one shoulder, which brings me back to Suze Orman, and the devil on the other. Only my devil is wearing sunglasses, a swimsuit and Manolo Blahnik sandals -silver. "By the way, nice sandals," I say to the devil. "Thanks, I won them off SJP in a poker game," says the devil. "Forget it," announces Suze. "You can't afford those or a vacation!" "C'mon, you only live once," says the devil. "Yes, but think about retirement," counters Suze. "Retirement, smirement...live in the moment," replies the devil. Oh boy, this could go on all day! And therein lies the problem, because in my mind, they both have very valid points.

Ah, well...I can't help but dream of dazzling blue waters and white sugar sand beaches. A drink in my hand, my toes in the sand, and my kids frolicking in the surf. Lucky for me, dreams are free since that's all I can afford.

In addition to dreaming, here's just a few suggestions of things to do over the summer that are low-cost or even FREE!

1. Hit the park, beach or local lake - grab the family or friends and make a day of it.

2. Go to the library - During the summer many libraries offer free activities, reading programs, and classes for all ages.

3. Try biking or hiking - Most areas have local trails or greenbelts.

4. Go camping - The U.S. Department of the Interior announced that it will waive fees on three summer weekends. www.nps.gov/findapark/feefreeparks.htm

5. Backyard BBQ - Have each guest bring a food/beverage item to lower your cost.

6. Attend local concerts and events in your community - Check your local paper or city's website for information.

7. Visit a planetarium or museum - Many offer free admission days.

8. Catch a Movie - Some theaters offer free summer movies for kids.

9. Sports - Baseball, how about a minor league game?

10. Start your own blog - It's an adventure all in it's own!

Soul Mates - Fact or Fiction?

First, for those who do not recognize the acronym MNO, let me explain - it stands for Mom's Night Out. It's when a group of moms get together once a month for dinner, drinks, and a chance to blow off steam. On one particular MNO, some time after appetizers, but before dinner arrived, one women asked the question, "Is everyone here married to her soul mate?" Wow! What a loaded question. What's next, another round of drinks and let's all swap bra sizes? I mean really, who is going to answer that question truthfully? The one about soul mates anyway, okay, maybe the bra size too. I'm betting over 50% of the women there were thinking, "No way, not me" but they are not going to say it, not out loud anyway.

So it brings me to the real heart of the matter...is there really such a thing as a soul mate? Does everyone have one? I looked across the table and presented the question, "What if yours is married to someone else?" "Well," one mom points out, "then that person is not your TRUE soul mate!" Huh? Are there different levels of soul mates? This is getting a bit convoluted, but for the sake of argument, okay...so what if your TRUE soul mate lives in a different country, or worse yet is dead? Do we get just one? Is there a quota on soul mates? Did someone in the cosmic order of things get in line twice and take more than his/her fair share, thus leaving someone else with none? This would actually explain a lot! It would explain why there are some incredible people out there without a partner or stuck in an unhappy relationship.

I could sense from how quiet the group got, and the cautious sideways glances some of the moms were giving others over the top of their wine glasses, that they were speculating on just who may have taken more than her fair share. At this point, I'm thinking that maybe swapping bra sizes wasn't such a bad idea after all.